Monday, May 27, 2013

विएत्नाम - विस्लावा सिम्बोर्स्का

tr. from Stanislaw Baranczak and Clare Cavanagh's English tr. of Wislawa Szymborska's Polish poem 'Vietnam'

'तेरा नाम क्या है?' 'मुझे नहीं पता।'
'क्या उम्र है? कहाँ की है?' 'मुझे नहीं पता।'
'ज़मीन में ये बिल क्यूँ खोदा?' 'मुझे नहीं पता।'
'कितनी देर से यहाँ छुपी हुई थी?' 'मुझे नहीं पता।'
'मेरी ऊँगली क्यूँ काटी?' 'मुझे नहीं पता।'
'क्या मालूम नहीं कि तुझे चोट नहीं पहुंचाएंगे?' 'मुझे नहीं पता।'
'किसकी तरफ है?' 'मुझे नहीं पता।'
'ये जंग है, किसी को तो चुनना पड़ेगा।' 'मुझे नहीं पता।'
'तेरा गाँव अभी भी है या जल गया?' 'मुझे नहीं पता।'
'ये तेरे बच्चे हैं?' 'हाँ।'

(thanks to Eddie Bruce Jones and Ashish Kundalia)

Wislawa Szymborska


flygye12 said...

I think the 'feel' should be preferred over the exactitude.

A tighter tr you could've been -
naam kya hai? Pata nahi.
Umr? Kahan ki hai?
Bill kyun khoda? Pata nahi

or something like that, how we actually speak the language. Do away with tu mujhe etc. Rest the name of the poem is already making clear.

As usual an amazing choice of poem from you. :)

Akhil Katyal said...

hey flygye12, you're right! let me see what i can do with this poem. will surely make some changes based on what you point out. now, you have to tell me your name since you shall be thanked! abhi batao :)

Akhil Katyal said...

removed some extraneous words. still want to retain 'mujhe naheen pata' since her responses are more measured, more conscious than the questions. thanks a ton for the suggestions :)

flygye12 said...

Sorry saw your comments abhi abhi.

I started following you on facebook a few days back. Sent a message about it too. My name there. :)